Discussion

I don't usually have a conversation with other people. I can only have personal discussions with my family and friends. I can't talk properly in front of a stranger or someone I know that I don't usually communicate with. I can't even answer simple questions like "What time is it?", "where is this particular place?", etc. when a stranger asks me. I sometimes become speechless. One of the reasons why I can't talk is because of the language itself. It's not because I don't know how to speak english. It is just that I am intimidated by people who speak good english. It is because I think I am in the lower hand of power differential. I think I am inferior than others. It is because someone speaks english fluently and I am not. It is also because I think someone is better than me that is why sometimes I tend to say "ok" even if it's not.
I used to write my personal feelings about anything in papers and hide them because I don't want other people to read it. I find it too personal. But I just realized that I can write online about anything when I was first introduced about blogging. I have my reasons why I blog. I was told that I can earn money just by writing. I liked it. But even before I was told about it I had already in mind to create a blog but I just couldn't have one. And then my friends started making blogs. I think everyone of us wants money. So I created a blog hoping that I can benefit from it. And then I registered. Unfortunately, I was rejected for so many times.They told me that I did not have the minimum requirements so I was automatically rejected. It was really a sad thing to be rejected but it's natural and I can't avoid rejection. And then,I saw one of the messages in my yahoo mail that included blogcatalog. So I clicked it and found out that I can join discussions. I first replied one of the dicussions as a guest. Then, I registered and I was approved . Eventually, I have become a blogcatalog member. I also found out that I can make my own discussion so I made one. Unluckily, noone replied. I admit that it was terrible. But then I started making another discussion again. Well, this time,people replied. I got overwhelmed because other people seem to have interests in my discussion. I feel happy when I tend to refresh my account in blogcatalog knowing that someone has replied. And I like it when I communicate with other people and exchange comments.I have posted 5 discussions already.It is not that I am paid to advertise blogcatalog. It is just that I love it.I even become addicted to it. It's like every night I go to an internet cafe because I don't have an internet connection in our boarding house. I like discussions in a form of writing.
Someone told me that it was nonsense. I told her that it wasn't. Friendster is nonsense than blogging because in blogging you can enhance your writing skills and your thinking. Because YOU THINK everytime you join in a discussion.You can enhance your brain.
Joining blogcatalog is not my excuse because I was rejected. I willingly offered myself in BC.

I can't talk the usual way I do in front of other people but I can communicate with them through writing. I am not a good writer but I think I am better in writing than verbal way of expressing my thoughts. That is one of my weaknesses. I'm not a good talker.

Math,Oh math

Some people say that Math is the simplest subject because the equations are not changing.

But for me, it is a different story. I don't remember if I hated math ever since I started schooling. But as far as I can remember, I have never liked it. Math sucks. I have a disturbing feeling just by hearing that word. I don't perform good in math. I am afraid of it. I can't deny the fact that I am not a MATH PERSON.

But....

It's because I'm not good at it doesn't mean I don't know the basics.

Look at the picture?

What is this equation?

MY GOD! Is this a part of an alien invasion? This looks so unfamiliar to me.

Can I just have a Physical Education class instead?

Note: Got this pic on the net.

No thanks...

Men who have muscles really have an advantage to others who don't have. It is better because it adds point so that women will like them. Plus it is better to look at when you have a good figure.

But...

Having this body?

No thanks! Can I choose the belt instead? I would rather have a man who have a flat stomach than this.

Note: I don't mean to insult the person in the picture. This is just my own view.
I got this on the internet again.

Fear...

I am 20 years old already and I'm not getting younger. But inspite of becoming a young adult,I still cannot consider myself as one. I admit that my level of maturity isn't that of an ideal 20-year-old person. I act like a child. I don't think as much as an adult would think.I cannot deny that I am still immature. I am still a student. As for now, I only think about going to class even without listening to my teachers sometimes, watch movies and anime and going to the mall sometimes.I am still inside the box where the real life scenario happens outside of it.There was a time in my life that I tried to imagine what my future will be and what I will become. I try to question myself about some things like "Can I find a job easily after I graduate? I am becoming old. I can't live alone. How can I apply? How can I manage my life on my own"? There are so many questions in my mind which I have a hard time formulating them. I just cannot give answers easily because I still have to consider the possibilities that might happen. As I think about it, fear strikes me. What if I can't do it? What if I can't find a nice job?Well, having a work is what comes to my mind first after I graduate.I guess most of us think about it.

I'm really afraid to grow up. It's not that I don't want to mature. I just think that being in the real world is so scary. And I think I am not yet prepared for that matter. However, sooner or later I will open that door even if I don't like it. Being an adult doesn't give me another choice.

Cats

Cat... Why do some people afraid or even hate cats? Look at this one... Isn't it so adorable......and so innocent....

I remember a friend everytime I see a cat. Not because she looks likes it or something like that. It is just that she is scared of cats. Just by telling her something like "There's a cat!", she will suddenly get nervous.I and my other friends asked her before why she hates cats? She doesn't even know why? Sometimes I want to tease or even scare her because I want to see her reaction. Even if I know how she reacts I still want to do it. But most of the time I don't because she might get mad at me and I don't want that. I think whatever she does, She can never learn to like cats. Even if I try to convince her, it would be impossible.

Don't worry too much!

Disclaimer: I don't own this picture.

Oh REALLY! My mother who is a PSYCHIATRIST told me that YOU ARE INSANE!and I am NORMAL!

DON'T WORRY too much about your problem because there are OTHER PEOPLE who are problematic more than you are.... There are others out there who are suffering from serious problems. Yours is such a very tiny thing compared to their problems. If you can't stop from worrying... JUST CHEER UP A LITTE.. It will do..

Note: My mother is not a Psychiatrist. It just a symbol and a way to make a point. By the way, my younger sister is taking BS in Psychology.

You still have hope!

Sometimes we feel like everything turns upside down... WE think everything is out of our own grasp... We tend to give up.... BUT THAT'S NOT ALWAYS THE CASE....
Even if we think it's hopeless... JUST DON'T EASILY GIVE UP..

It's never too late.....

Disclaimer: I only got this on the internet.

Silence please...

Why is it sometimes we tend to be silent and follow what other people will tell us to do?

Arguments are difficult to handle most of the time. Sometimes the little thing becomes complicated and it is too much to handle already. We want to fight back. We want to talk back and say "STOP!' But no matter what we do, still it is useless. We are sick and tired of defending ourselves to the people who won't listen to us, that is why we follow whatever they say just to bring back the peaceful atmosphere we are living at. Too much talking is so annoying. In order to stop those people who talk a lot, we tend to shut up and say "ok", even if they are the ones who must zip their mouth.

Anime Bleach

BLEACH.... What is the interesting part of this anime?

Having so many mysteries is what interests me a lot.
Knowing some of the answers of these mysteries makes me alive and happy.

What really happened in the past?

Who were the leaders

A face so innocent....

What is he hiding behind his sleeves? How great his power is?

Disclaimer: I got these pictures in onemanga.com

I'm just curious

I have no idea how lovers think. I am just curious why they act weird. I know of someone who is disappointed with her boyfriend. She is angry because her boyfriend doesn't include her in his own future plans. Are lovers really talk about their lives in the future, when will they get married or even the names of their children are being discussed? Is it necessary for them to build future plans together? What if the other one has his/her own dreams. Will he/she give up his/her own desires just to follow what we think the lovers should do?

Thank God

I just got my grades yesterday and I was really nervous and scared . I had this subject (finman) which I have had difficulty with. I couldn't think properly since I was disturbed. Questions like "What if I failed? How can I tell my parents about this thing now that they have so many things to think about?" really bothered me. I was really happy as I saw my grades since I don't have to take finman again because I passed. Thank God I made it.

Thank God I, Kristine, Reich and Pipan have no failing grades. Well, Congratulations to us.

We still have a subject that is still ongoing. I hope we will all pass SAD.